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SCRIPTWRITER. TV. FILM. THEATRE. RADIO, Portsmouth, United Kingdom
Hi there! Welcome my Scriptwriting blog. When I'm not here I write Scripts, Sketches, Stories and Lyrics. All enquiries welcome.

Tuesday 30 September 2008

(103) The Stages of Red Planet Fever...

All over now 'til big Tone phones up...
Good luck to one and all; let's hope one of us Scribospherists wrote the winning script!

As you're all my bestest friends, I thought I'd share my Red Planet 2008 writing diary with you.

The stages of Red Planet Fever.
As acted out by the Andrew Lloyd Webber Players...


1/ "Coupla Months to write 10 pages..?"

EASY...NO PROBLEM...




2/ "Yeah, yeah, PO3 showed up a few plot holes to sort out..."

STILL TIME, IT'S ONLY 10 PAGES...SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM...



3/ "Deadline's getting close, where'd the time go?"

NO WORRIES...I CAN DO IT...IT'S ONLY 10 BLOODY PAGES...



4/ "What? You're unclear about the protag and the conflict, but it's the funniest thing you've read?"

IT'S NOT A COMEDY! CAN I FIX THIS? THERE'S ONLY 3 DAYS LEFT!



5/ "Done. Polished. Shining. Best multi protag experimental flashback/flash forward multi million pound special effects 60 minute comedy drama ever written. Jordan would be a fool to pass on this..."

I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN DAYS! IT WAS ONLY 10 PAGES! CHRIST KNOWS HOW I'LL TURN IN AN HOURS WORTH! BLOODY HELL, FORGOT TO ADD MY NAME AND ADDRESS...

(102) Song Me-me

The effervescent Rachael me-me'd er, me, with the following...

“Find a song that sums up what you think it means to be a writer and post the lyrics on your blog and why you've chosen it. NB: It doesn't have to be your favourite song, it just has to express how you feel about writing and/or being a writer. It can be literal, metaphorical, about a particular form or aspect of writing - whatever you want. Then tag 5 others to do the same (reprint these instructions).”

So, with apologies to Mr Lennon and Mr McCartney, here's the song lyrics that always remind me of writing and inspire me to lovingly splash the ink across the parchment in the vain hope that one day my mad musings may be committed to celluloid...

Scriptwriter (Paperback writer amended)

Dear sir or madam, will you read my script?
It took me years to write, and should be green lit
Based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job, so I want to be a scriptwriter,
Scriptwriter.

It’s the dirty story of a dirty man
And his clinging wife doesn’t understand.
His son is working for the daily mail,
It’s a steady job but he wants to be a scriptwriter,
Scriptwriter.

Scriptwriter

It’s a thousand pages, give or take a few,
I’ll be writing more in a week or two.
I can make it longer if you like the style,
I can change it round and I want to be a scriptwriter,
Scriptwriter.

If you really like it you can have the rights,
It could make a million for you overnight.
If you must return it, you can send it here
But I need a break and I want to be a scriptwriter,
Scriptwriter.

Scriptwriter

Scriptwriter - scriptwriter
Scriptwriter - scriptwriter


My turn!

First of all, I me-me everyone to reply to this me-me here and Rach's Dave, Lord Moran, Young Arnopp, Paul "Eastenders" Campbell and Sir Robin Kelly for this one...

As a small reward for your efforts, here for your delectation is the original, unamended version by some little known sixties band, in apparently one of the first ever promo videos ever made...

Friday 19 September 2008

(101) BLOG 101



We're back from Hols, and Wow 101st blog!

To think when I started I didn't know what I was blogging about, but, hey baby,look at me now...

Sorry, went a bit Austin Powers then...

So, how's it all going?

Yeah, deadlines are looming fast, so writing time's precious.

But...

If you wanted a bit of procrastination or just as a cunning plan (Cripes! gone all Baldrick now...) to jolt the little grey writing cells (now I'm Hercule Poirot!) outa a blockage...


How's about,( oh no! Jimmy Saville!) in honour of this 101st blog, a writers "room 101" open me-me for now then, now then...(Jim again, what's wrong with me today?)

So, my pet writing hates for room 101:-

1/ Writers block (ha! ha! it be banned forever now, I tell ye!) - bloody hell - now I'm all piratey...

2/ House hold chores as set by the wife or significant other "before you play on the computer" - I mean, chores, really, surely that's why we have non writing partners...(Dunno what Dave and Rachael do!)

3/ Any type of repair man coming round "on your day off"

4/ Computer Viruses ( especially those devious window crashes deliberately set as electronic time bombs by you Mr Gates, the ones that magically happen just as you type that final Oscar winning line and yet just before you hit the "save" button...)

5/ Procrastination!!!

Over to you now my Scribo-pals...

Thursday 4 September 2008

(100) Where it all happens...

Got me-me'd a while back by Michelle...

So here it is...

At a secret Oasis deep in the desert...Uncle Sheiky's great canvas writing palace of a tent...



OK.
By now, most of you have probably guessed I'm not really a Sheik...

So here's me at my office...



OK.
Just a jest...

Here's mine and I me-me every one else who's left to show theirs!

(99) Hi World, I'm still here!

Sincerest apologies to my fan who emailed and asked if I was OK!

Fear ye not fellow Scribes, Ol' Sheiky is still in the game...



Sorry for leaving the blog floating all alone in cyberspace for a while...

But...

I have been very busy lately!
Don't worry, I've still checked in to sneak a peek at your gaffs to make sure you're all still OK (although quite a few of you have been a bit blog slack too...).

Glad you're all well and writing!

Moi?

Well, busy, busy, busy with family, work and domestic projects...
...and, oh yeah, yer actual writing!

Been tiding my files and scraps of paper to sort out an order of sustained attack to move things up a gear, and build the portfolio into a professional agents/producers pack.

I really feel I have improved and have a greater understanding of scriptwriting than I did last year, and want to try to reflect that in a slight change of direction for the blog...

Totally script orientated only from now on. (Alright, maybe the odd funny!)

Writing wise, things are moving on a pace...

Had a few proper - yer actual writer - meetings!

Two turned out to be time wasters who had great huge pies in the sky, but one is ongoing and gives me the chance to be really writer-ery and tease you with the news that I'm involved in a secret TV project!

Yeah, me!
But my lips must remain sealed until the time's right (just before it goes on air??)

RP project 2 is going well, and will be entered on time!
Brand new show for this year although last year's entry is out in someone's inbox as we squeak! (and, no, that's not the secret TV project...yet!)

My film script is in it's tightening up stage and should be flying off to the RISE summer challenge soon.
You're all entering that one as well right? Right?

Anyway, must go, lovely talking to all again!

p.s. I orf on Holiday again to get Mrs S some Sun (she works hard, bless her) so I'll see you all again in just over a week!

TTFN

Sheiky