About Me

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SCRIPTWRITER. TV. FILM. THEATRE. RADIO, Portsmouth, United Kingdom
Hi there! Welcome my Scriptwriting blog. When I'm not here I write Scripts, Sketches, Stories and Lyrics. All enquiries welcome.

Saturday, 31 December 2011

Happy New Year!

Let's hope the Mayans are wrong. Have a good 'un!

Friday, 23 December 2011

Thursday, 27 October 2011

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

OMG! "Star" Billing!

It's only my 3rd gig - what are they thinking!!!

Friday, 7 October 2011

London Screenwriters Festival.script comp

Congratulations to the TWO first prize winners (they get to share the cash bit) of the fab London Screenwriters Festival short script contest, Dave Turner and Milethia Thomas.

Note it's all T's in the surnames, so I musta been close...


Still, considering the awesome competition (every Scribe in the land who wanted to bag a free ticket) I placed well, - in the top 5% the organisers say.

And if that wasn't enough, all us shortlisted scribblers received sage like feedback from the wondrous Lady Lucy V of Bang2Write fame.

Full details from the comp uber-judges here.

Many thanks to LSWF directors Lucy V Hay and Chris Jones putting on the contest.

Have a great Fest!

Keep writing.

Monday, 3 October 2011

Whey-hey! Though the first round!

Whey-hey! Though the first round!

Congratulations to all the others also on the long list and sincere commiserations to everyone else, but remember Superscribes, it's all subjective: Keep Writing!

Be a fairground pilot? He didn't see the attraction...

Plane hits Ferris wheel: Police say the pilot is slowly coming round.

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Happy Birthday Google!

13 today and still provides 90% of searches. Apparently.

Saturday, 17 September 2011

Stand up and be counted...

Why did I do it?

You know what it's like: You're watching a Comedian, and your friends say "you're funnier than them; you should try that" or you're telling your fave joke in the pub and your mates say "you should be on stage."


I went for it.

And guess what? It's much harder than it looks...

I wrote a funny little script. It's part of the job description. Conned Groundlings Theatre into letting perform on one of their excellent Embryo nights, where new acts try out their new material, hence the title, and got a brilliant o.t.t. introduction from Rafe, the flamboyant compere.


Froze after the first two lines!

The lines garnered the laughs they were supposed to, but rest of my rehearsed skit seemed to have flown out the window.

After a silent, internal blind panic of what seemed hours to me, but, I was assured later, was mere seconds in real life, I recovered enough to bung in a few ad libs, whilst my brain desperately tried to recall the rest of my script.

Fortunately, having had the presence of mind to leave said script with my friends, I made a joke of challenging the audience to heckle me with their bizarrest one line heclkles, but obviously cheated by only responding to the odd phrase shorted out from my script!

These covert prompts did the trick and the show flowed (sorta) on.

As well as the applause, I received some much needed feedback on my performance.

The most important being "learn your bloody lines" and "Don't freeze."

Still, I couldn't have been that bad, because they've actually booked me for the new acts comedy night on the 28th this month!

Oh dear...

Images courtesy of the lovely Kirstie Meredith http://kmeredith90.tumblr.com/

Kirstie would love it if you could visit and tick "like" on her facebook page http://www.facebook.com/meredithfashion More great pics to browse there too.

Saturday, 27 August 2011

Dr Wow!

Dr Wow!


Wow! How good was that?

Clever, funny, confounding - everything a great Dr should be. I nearly named this post I am not worthy II.

All hail the Moffat

Back on form, can't wait for the next ep!

Missed it?

Shame on you. Watch it here http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0146h0q/Doctor_Who_Series_6_Lets_Kill_Hitler/

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

I am not worthy...

Cemetery Junction written & directed by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant.

Where the hell was I?

Better late than never I caught up with this fantastic touchy-feely good movie on the old telly box tonight...


I am so not worthy: What a master class in scriptwriting, Character development and plain good ol' fashioned really beautiful story telling.

Even the minor characters are so well rounded they spring into believable life and breath truth on the screen.

If you haven't had the pleasure yet, I urge you catch rent/download/steal/borrow/watch it a.s.a.p.

And then rewrite all of your own scripts 'cos of what you've learnt!

And Lord Stephen and King Ricky, if you're reading this, and, yeah I know you're big Sheiky fans, where can I download the script to read?

(Course, should Rick and Steve be too busy, at the mo, what with Hollywood, bloggy things, cartoons and TV projects, to reply direct, or in the comments to me... does anyone else know where I might download their wonderful script to read for edu-ma-cational purposes?)

Stephen's official site: http://www.stephenmerchant.com/

Rick's: http://www.rickygervais.com/

The movie's: http://www.sonypictures.co.uk/movies/cemeteryjunction/

Take from this whatever you will, Grasshopper...

"It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness." – Chinese proverb

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Everyone's a critic...

"Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing."


Saturday, 30 July 2011


Got the idea, but no script to meerkat?

No excuses: If you don't write it, nobody can read your script.

It's really that...

Tuesday, 26 July 2011



From the Latin, "Pro" meaning "for" and "Crastinus" meaning "that of tomorrow."

Basically makes you a fan of doing it tomorrow...

And where's that gonna get you?

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Another Scripty freebie from Sheiky

Another Scripty freebie from Sheiky?

Who loves ya baby?

Yeah. Me. I do.

So have a butchers @ this me amigos...

Over the pond, Jeff Goldsmith has a great Q & A blog well worth a liddle lookie.

One of the gems on it is an L.A. poolside podcast with the writers of the Night at The Museum movies, Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant.

They've written a new book; Writing Movies For Fun and Profit: How We Made a Billion Dollars at The Box Office and You Can, Too!

In it they reveal what it's like as working Scribes in Hollywood.

Oh no Sheiky, not another how to write tome...

Yeah, but...

Not only are these guys very funny, both as writers and script writing gurus, they actually walk the walk: they pen hit studio movies.

Here's the podcast link; it's very, you know, er, um, shall we say, colloquially American, but contains some great insights and advice:


And here's their interview over @ Collider.com



Keep writing!

Monday, 18 July 2011

Another scripty freebie for Sheiky fans

For everyone indulging in spec-ing, and those poor unfortunates related to, or living with a wannabe writer...


Watch more free documentaries

Wednesday, 13 July 2011



My, it's been a while...

Is anyone still there?

Oh good, there you all are, still spec-ing away.

My fault, of course, been a bit busy. With a bit of this and a bit of that.

Sorry I've neglected you. Can't believe it's been that long. My how time flies.

Tell yer what, to make it up to you I'll share this rather scrummy FREEBIE from my pals @Raindance.

"Download every script written by Christopher Nolan. Email to info@raindance.co.uk Our electronic intern will ping them back."

Yeah, I know, sorry I shouted at you. On my first day back an' all.

But I was excited. It's a great learning resource - you should always be reading scripts. And it's FREE

Oh dear; there I go again...

I'll give you some bonus Freebie tips if you follow the Raindance link.

See? That's better. Great chatting to you again.

Love & kisses,

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

What a corker of a show!

The Missing Years

Play up Pompey, Pompey play up!

What a corker of a show!

Written by Amber Dodd, James Jefferies, (see James I spelt it correctly!) Catherine Randle and... er, ohmygosh, as the great James Moran would say: It's me!

Visionary Director Liz Weston, her talented cast and all the hard working backstage crew composed a fantastic show out of our scripts at Portsmouth's New Theatre Royal last night.

An audience of over 300 delighted theatre lovers whooped. hollered, laughed, cried and chanted along with the exciting, multi layered show which cleverly combined celebration, singing, comedy, projected real life wartime photographs and newsreels, and of course, poignant drama from the Pompey Blitz.

For me, it was an extra thrill, to see, hear and, dare I say it, "feel" my words interpreted by the talented cast, as it was the first time I've written a piece for the stage.

Support your local theatres: You really cannot beat live entertainment for atmosphere and relevance.

Hats off and Champagne glasses raised to all involved.

Thursday, 3 March 2011

Come and see a play what I wrote...

... as the great Ern used to say.

Three other local playwrights and I (Amber Dodd, James Jefferies and Catherine Randle) have written brilliant show (IMHO)called "The missing years."

Based on local people's "living memories," it uses music, songs, back projections of contemporary photographs and drama to tell the tale of Portsmouth's F.C.'s famous, against all odds 1939 FA Cup win.

And, of course, their subsequent world record, ahem, of being the only club to hold on to the FA Cup for six consecutive years...

The lovely Mrs T and I will be there, no doubt quaffing champers and posing for photies on the red carpet whilst being mobbed by hordes on fans.

Get your red hot tickets here or at the New Theatre Royal box office.

Shows Monday 7th March 2pm and 7pm

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Hello world!

Hello world! It's all so new, exciting miraculous and wonderful.

Just like my shiny brand new step-grandson, Brandon.

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Laughing Stock 2011

See it?

Way down there, amongst the 15 sack loads thus far delivered.

That's my entry. Bottom left. Third one up. I think.

Monday, 14 February 2011

Ten glorious seconds = one glorious film!

Ten glorious seconds = one glorious film!

My friend, secret project co-writer, mentor and sternest critic, the lovely Carol Younghusband has written (and Produced) a beautiful, haunting new short film about dementia called Ten Glorious Seconds

It has garnered rave reviews in the press, including praise from The Times, no less.

Mrs T and I found it very moving, with beautifully shot locations and top notch acting from the cast who bring Carol's beautifully written characters to very believable, poignant life.

You can watch it here.

Carol's even sharing a "making of" vid with everyone here.

Saturday, 12 February 2011

PERSONA – a big drama in the palm of your hand.

PERSONA – a big drama in the palm of your hand.

Super talent, and friend of this blog, Sir Phillipe de Baron releases today his exciting new venture "Persona" the big, new drama in the palm of your hand. Not the usual one , oh-er missus, but the world's first ever drama created exclusively for all smartphones.

For £1.50 you get 2-3 minutes of daily drama for a year.

Join in the fun and check out all the exciting blurbery, photos and sound bites here and here.

Wishing you a successful launch, guys!

Friday, 11 February 2011

Networking again

That's me. Networking again. The baldy bloke trying to hide from the camera. I'm a writer, I should be behind the camera. Well away. In a locked room. Writing.

If I wanted to be in the frame, I'd be an actor.

Anyway, here we all are chatting, informing and being informed at the Screentime event at Portsmouth Uni's Purple door sponsored by Cibas.

See how many links I crammed into that sentence? Network me back baby!

It really was a great afternoon. Free coffee and quality cakes. Met loads of interesting industry insiders who were friendly and approachable. Not the scary monsters we're led to believe, at all.

We got some advice on courses, planning, budgets, future trends and howled with laughter at the funding stand, when they said there's none left for scriptwriters development. As if writers need money. Huh!

As everybody knows, Writer's don't go out; they just sit in a little room (so they don't need much heating) pounding away at their scripts. In fact, if they write by candlelight (worked for Sheiky and Dickens et al) and charge their laptops when they're down the library or in the free wi-fi caff, they don't even need electricity.

As for grub, Marie Antoinette was spot on: There were free cakes (and coffee) provided. point of fact you could tell who the writers were: (apart from the clothes!) they scoffed extra cakes.

The professional writers, ie, whose sole income comes from writing, were obvious to spot too: They filled their pockets with cakes as they left...

The event was organised like speed dating - or so I was informed - I've never been speed dating. I like to stare at my prey, er, the lady, for ages first while lager chips away at my inhibitions until I'm pissed, er, confident enough to tell her how lucky she's gonna be.


So, just like speed dating, (so I'm told; see above) a gong - in this case a comical hand held squelcher, prompted us to swap cards and phone numbers and move on, so you could move round all the tables.

As the event covered all the arts, I met some up with some old friends and made some new ones. Sculpting and interactive walk in shows/displays appear to be where the funding is at the mo.

To sum up; a great event, good fun had by all. Among all those interesting, friendly people I met was Mr Eugene, a Brighton based musician of note (pardon the pun) and the lovely and witty Jo Emery, a comedy scriptwriter from just across the water from me, that being Gosport, not France. Or the I.O.W.

Jo, bless her, even admitted to knowing the blogoshere's legendary Phil Barron!

Many thanks to Cibas and Purple Door for organising such a cool event. Here's to the next one.

(P.S. For those who don't know, I'm the guy in cool black, next to the blonde lady.)

Tuesday, 25 January 2011


Went to New Writing South's first Writer Hub at the New Theatre Royal in Portsmouth, last night, and meet some new writers.

Mmm, lots of "News" in that sentence.

Always great to be back at the NTR. As well as a quick catch up with some of the people I'm working with on the Living Memories Project I got to meet loads of talented, exciting local writers I didn't know about.

Which, was, of course the whole point of the night.

Writers, poor lonely, souls, need to break the chains on the laptop and talk to real people sometimes. Instead of just conversing with all those voices in their heads...

I'm ok. The lovely Mrs T always hides all the knives when she goes out.

Over forty writers across all the genres and disciplines turned out. A great response, and lovely surprise to the organisers, as they only expected up to twenty: But Portsmouth has talent! (New Simon Cowell vehicle there?)

So the coffee had to be rationed and only the fittest and quickest got a biscuit.

Two discussions were led to see what we, the writers, wanted from the Hub. Ours included a sort of impromptu tour of the magnificent theatre as our leader (tour guide?) the NTR's Director herself, the warm, witty and approachable Caroline Sharman, attempted to find our group a "quiet" space - whilst the Youth Theatre Group rehearsed on stage...

The resulting lists from each discussion were correlated to plan the next series of hubs. New Writing South are committed to organising the first three Hubs, including providing guest speakers, and then the plan is the Hub, or group, will run itself.

The evening duly drew to a pleasant close with informal chatting and quick draw business card gun-slinging.

There were only a few scriptwriters among us, so we gravitated to the corner of the bar in the time honoured fashion of our profession.

Most unfortunately there wasn't any actual alcohol available...

Upon the swapping of said bizzy cards one nice chap I was talking to, the friendly and witty comic writer Tom Pinnock, was delighted to discover he'd now actually met the "famous" Sheiky!

OMG - the reader.

Tom has just finished his degree in Comedy Writing, - the first in the country, apparently.

Staying (sorta) in the realm of the blogosphere I also met a friend of the our very own Lucy Vee - the esteemed Bournemouth Uni's senior lecturer in scriptwriting Dr Craig Batty, who is another very nice chap.

If you're reading this Dr Craig (yeah,yeah, he's another fan...) don't forget to browse my webby sitey: http://garethturpie.yolasite.com/

More networkery bizzy card swappery today too.

This afternoon I've been invited to attend the sold out Cibas/Screentime event at Portsmouth Uni (really excited!) and tonight is the Wrap Party (really looking forward to it!) for
Conway Street - the award winning radio soap I co-wrote 22 episodes for.

As the fat exec with the large cigar always says: "That's show biz for yer..."

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

Dug up a film called Buried

Dug up this film called Buried.

Wow! What a film!

Claustrophobic. Obviously. This poor feller gets buried alive in a coffin.

Terrifying. Some poor feller gets buried alive in a coffin.

Gripping. Surprisingly. A poor feller gets buried alive in a coffin!

Writer Chris Sparling delivers a master class in scriptwriting.

A short, tight script that takes you somewhere you've never been before. Hopefully;- Some poor feller gets buried alive in a coffin.

Great title: This movie does exactly what it says on the cover.

Low budget: One actor. (yeah, all right, a few v/o's and an actress video phones in a scene or two). One location - did I mention? This poor feller gets buried, alive, in a coffin.

See it. Next day you'll buy an everlasting torch. A spare battery for your mobile. And invent a pocket shovel...

Tuesday, 18 January 2011

BBC Films

My, aren't BBC Films are flying high at the mo?

They seem to have uncovered the most closely guarded secret in the fabled Alchemist screenwriter's secret file: How to combine quality scripts with commercial appeal.

Very clever of them. Note to Reader and self: Read those scripts. Learn from them.

In the meantime, the lovely chaps and chappettes at the Writersroom have put on a little showreel of success.

Just for you...


Saturday, 15 January 2011

Psst! Wanna see a script?


Yeah, I'm talkin' to you. The screenwriter.

Wanna see a script?

Wanna see the script of the moment?


Thursday, 13 January 2011

How do you feel about your writing job?

I had to deliver a parcel today, so I rang the recipient to secure a mutually convenient time.

"Any time is fine." the lady says. "I'm in all day as I work from home."

Ever ready to network, er, I mean befriend a fellow scribe, I jump straight in with the question: "Are you a writer?"

"Good lord, no!" she says.

"Oh dear, is she that I upset that I might suspect she's a keyboard basher?" thinks I.

"Nothing as exciting or glamorous as that!" she adds...

Saturday, 8 January 2011

Thursday, 6 January 2011

Get with the picture

"Come on Gaz, get with the picture" they said.

"Sure thing" says I. "Where do I sign?"

Sunday, 2 January 2011

Fun place to work?

This looks like a fun place to work! Hope they love my scripts at http://garethturpie.yolasite.com/

Saturday, 1 January 2011

Day one: Make the most of it!

Day one: Make the most of it!

Wishing a Happy and prosperous New Year to all us dreamers.

Believe in your dreams. Set your Imagination free.